Me and my partner both had a child each from previous relationships, so we both came with baggage.
I remember being very cautious meeting his daughter, and likewise being cautious about him meeting my son. I didn’t want someone to come into his life for him to disappear just as fast. But the day came when we introduced the children and everything went well. Everyone became part and parcel.
Then I got pregnant and my god my head was in turmoil. All those hormones really tipped me over the edge. I was so cynical about absolutely everything!
I remember having a coffee with a friend and suddenly bursting into tears. I didn’t like my stepdaughter! And I hated myself for even saying it. She was a child and I was the adult. Why didn’t I like her? I don’t even know! She was too fussy at the dinner table. She wound my son up too much. She was very clingy for a four year old to her dad. Then my friend said something and it clicked.
Do you want her to like you. And there it was. I craved for her to come to me when she fell over. I craved for her to sit on my knee. I wanted her to stroke my tummy when the baby kicked. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her. I wanted her to like me.
Time went by and my feelings suddenly dispersed… mostly because the baby was born and my hormones went back to normal. I was able to start doing little things with her. I was able to do her hair in the morning. Then maybe make her favourite dinner.
Two years later we go for coffee (hot chocolate with marshmallows for her) and I love the little bonding sessions we have. I love her!
Don’t get me wrong, she still drives me mad with her little tantrums. But that’s part of her. There’s things my own two boys do that do me in too. They get treated no differently.
Becoming a step parent is hard. It can make or break a relationship. But I wouldn’t have it any other way now iv got her. I love her to bits.
If you have any experiences or tips of becoming a step parent I would love to hear them!
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