The hardest part of sharing your child after the break up

Isn’t it nice when you get to get along with your ex?

It’s a breathe of fresh air to be able to trust the father of your child to take care of the most precious thing in your life, to be fair, he is probably just as precious to him too.

However…

It’s so hard when you hand your child over for a whole week. It’s hard when you know he is going to make memories that don’t have you in it. Picnics on a beach somewhere. Holidays that you aren’t apart of.

Maybe I am sentimental but I always pictured myself being in all my children’s memories, that I would always be there.

For the last five years I haven’t been.

And twice a year Korey goes to his dad’s for a whole week. Twice a year I get that sting in my heart as I hand him over, waving to him as I say “have a good time” and “make loads of memories” knowing full well that he will have a great time, but I won’t be around to see it. Don’t get me wrong, I WANT him to have a good time, I want him to have a GREAT time, but I want to be there too…

.

For all the things that I thought would bother me, this wasn’t one of them. It never entered my head that I could get so upset over him being with his dad. But it’s probably the one that snuck up on me. It crept silently. And it has got to be, for me, the hardest thing about sharing my boy.

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