Please don’t change too much

As most of you are aware by now Korey and I have been battling for a diagnosis, of what I wasn’t quite sure. I just knew he was different. His emotions weren’t quite “right”. He would laugh when he hurt himself, laugh when he was being told off. He wouldn’t cry if he felt sad, he would just have a look of uncertainty until he would shrug it off and laugh some more.

He would laugh until he made himself sick. The only time he would cry was if he had been told “no”. But he wouldn’t just cry, he would shriek and scream and throw almighty tantrums. We are talking about a 7 year old who was having terrible twos tantrums…

He couldn’t make friends. He just didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to play without hurting his friends. He would cling to the friends he made, they weren’t allowed to be friends with anyone else. He would lose his friends this way instead.

He couldn’t sit still. He would bounce around. He couldn’t sit at his desk at school. He would cause such a fuss the teacher had no choice but to remove him.

He excelled in his swimming. Two years later after starting his lessons he is ready to start his 50 meters. He can do all the different strokes including the butterfly. He loves to swim.

Yesterday he went back to his paediatrician. She has diagnosed him with ADHD.

I wasn’t shocked. Three years after i started asking for help people have finally listened to my concerns. Finally someone has spotted the different ways he sees the world.

She has prescribed him his medicine.

One part of me is so relieved. It isn’t my parenting at fault.

The other part of me is pretty devastated. He won’t be “normal” he won’t be the same Korey he was before once he starts taking his medicine.

I am so worried that (although he may be helped with his medication) he won’t be the same boy.

Isn’t that I what I wanted?

Sort of. But I don’t want him to change too much. I want him to say please and thankyou. And sit and concentrate.

But I don’t want him to change his quirky cheeky little boy attitude. I want him to be helpful like I know he can be.

I don’t want him to hurt the friends he wants so desperately to make.

I guess time will tell what the future holds for us. As a family. And what the medication will do for Korey. The wonders of a great, intelligent mind that is only just starting to make sense.

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