A letter to the mum who invited my son to her son’s party

To the mum who invited my son to her son’s birthday party

Korey came home from school today with the biggest smile on his face. He told me he was invited to his friends party.

I felt my heart break. See, Korey hasn’t been invited to a birthday party from a school friend for well over a year now. I thought maybe this was another one of his attempts at gate-crashing and I didn’t want him to feel let down again.

On our walk home it was all he kept talking about, “mum, all the boys are going” and “mum it’s going to be amazing”. How was I going to break it to him that he probably wouldn’t be going, he probably wasn’t invited or his friends mum had heard so much from the infamous Korey and he shouldn’t be invited.

A few days later and still he hadn’t received an actual invite but he is still talking about the party. I never saw his mum collect his friend so couldn’t approach her. Surely his birthday would be soon and I’m waiting for the fall-out that comes from an ADHD/ASD child when he is expecting something that wouldn’t be happening. I knew the meltdown would be immense this time.

Then one afternoon whilst waiting outside the classroom a lady walked over to me. “Are you Koreys mum?” “Erm, yes” I stutter as I wait to hear what my son had probably done to her child…

“oh good, iv been trying to find you to tell you about my son’s party, we haven’t done invites but would he like to come?”

I wanted to hug her! “Of course he would love to go, he’s been talking so much about this party”

The day of the party came, it was a house party and Korey was so excited. Panic set in even more. Maybe he will be that excited that he won’t behave. The pressure was intense.

You came to the door and invited him in, made him feel welcome and we quickly exchanged conversation before I left you all to it.
I went to the local McDonald’s with my youngest and drank a coffee, I needed something stronger though. I was a nervous wreck, waiting to collect Korey, hoping and praying he was behaving, using manners and being polite.

The two hours passed so slowly but then I went to collect Korey you opened the door, smiling from ear to ear telling me Korey had been amazing, very well mannered and very polite.

My heart was filled with so much happiness and elation. My heart was so overwhelmed with joy.

You see, special needs children don’t get invited to parties. Korey doesn’t have a physical special need but he is the wild-child that the parents all know. They are all aware of who my son is but he isn’t the one you want at a party, he can get overwhelmed and act out as though he is excited and unruly, he isn’t, he is just over stimulated.

But you invited him, you made him feel welcome, you let him be himself and never judged him.
The playground needs more mums like you!

Thank you for understanding that not every child is typically “normal” and for giving him a chance.

Regards

Stressed out mum of an ADHD child

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