Motherhood Is Hard

Motherhood is hard! There are so many things that we struggle with on our journey through motherhood from the moment we find out we are expecting our baby our lives are changed forever. Our journey with our children never ends. It is one that will keep throwing challenges at us long after they’ve left home and you think you have completed the task of bringing them up to be well adjusted adults.

There is such a huge expectation with mums that they’ve got to have their shit together all the time and sometimes that is neither realistic nor fair.

I have teamed up with a fantastic group of mums on Instagram to bring you their thoughts on the hardest thing they’ve found on their journey of motherhood.

It is also important to add that most of us are the glue that holds the family together and whilst there is no I in team there is that old saying “mum is where the home is”. I have asked mums what they do to relax after a hard day as it is so important to make sure mums get their time to chill out before they burn out.

This lovely group of women have been an inspiration to work with and iv thoroughly enjoyed reading their stories. If you would like to reach out to them I have left their Instagram handles under their picture. They have been a true pleasure to work with.


Il kick start the hardest part of my motherhood journey:

@mother_of_rogues

The hardest part of my motherhood journey has been both of my children’s health. Ethan (My Youngest) was born a perfect weight (7lb 11oz) but within 6 weeks of him being born we knew he had something wrong with him. You’ve seen the excorcist? Yes, that was our house, he was sick constantly and it was like he had a competition with himself to see how far across the room he could be sick. This was all day, every day. Fast forward three months and finally we were given something for his new reflux diagnosis. His weight was so low (8lb 10 oz at four months old) we were ordered by a dietician and paediatritian to wean early. His weight suddenly and dramatically improved and he stopped being sick as much. I was finally able to sleep. I could get to the bottom of my wash basket for the first time in five months. It was such a relief.

Korey (My eldest) was diagnosed with ADHD at age 7 after a three year fight. We also knew he had his own set of challenges, he learnt differently, he has sensory issues and it can be quite challenging to control his behaviour sometimes. This will be on going for him but we are learning new things everyday. It helps to have a diagnosis though which was our biggest challenge, to know what was wrong.

To relax after a hard day I reach out to my journal, I blog and I craft. It’s one way for me to get my thoughts and feelings out so that I can finally unwind and get to sleep.

@Just4twins

http://www.just4twins.co.uk

Motherhood can be hard, really hard. It is the best thing I have done but also the hardest. When I found out we were having twins I was over the moon, after 4 attempts at IVF we couldn’t of been happier. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I was ready for the challenge! Then we brought them home and I learnt just how hard it would be. I think everyones struggles are different depending on the age of the children, it feels we just get to grips with one set of challenges when a whole new set arrives.

For me i’ll talk about the ‘baby’ stage. When my husband went back to work being on your own with two small babies was pretty daunting. When you have two screaming babies who both need your attention / need to be fed and changed it can be tough. You desperately want to settle them both but sometimes you feel like you are letting one down. It felt like I was constantly deciding who needed me more, what should be done first and then when everyone was settled it would all just start again 10 minutes later.
It can feel so isolating, it is possible to get out with twins but sometimes it all just felt like to much and would be such a challenge I would decide to stay in. I felt nervous to take them out for to long and especially to baby groups, some people would be really helpful, others not so much. What if one started crying, how would the other one react. To be honest I still get nervous now taking them both to things alone – now they can walk we have a whole new set of struggles.
So when I think about what was my biggest struggle is I think it’s confidence to be able to handle them both when out and make sure they are content. It’s easy to feel judged by other parents when they both kick off. But I have learnt a lot and now realise snacks is the answer, a constant supply of snacks!!
So after a stressful day, honestly, I want to tell you I meditate, I journal or something like this, but really all I want to do is have a nice gin and tonic and watch something other than baby tv! I also think it is why I set up Just4twins as it was something for me and to take my mind somewhere else and connect with other mums in the same boat.

@Frommumwithloveuk

@thehygienebank

http://Www.thehygienebank.com She supports mums/dads/ kids and families in crisis by donating toiletry, sanitary and baby items.

One of my biggest challenges of motherhood is patience when it comes to tantrums, disagreements, strong willed little ladies … whatever. It’s the confrontation. I’ve never been very good at it from little people or adults. With Boo (5), she was pretty chilled until she was 3, then it started. Massive meltdowns, I didn’t know what to do. My lovely little lady had turned into a meltdown machine. However, over time, I realised that by getting cross or annoyed at her only made things worse so I learnt to get down to her level, explain either the reason for no or whatever it was that had caused such a response, or say that I knew she was tired etc. I would offer a hug, if she wasn’t ready I’d just tell her I was there for when she was ready. This seems to have worked. Even now when she gets upset we use this and the meltdown lasts for seconds rather than minutes or tens of minutes. The other challenge is lack of sleep….

To wind down… either a good walk with the dog or a long relaxing bubble bath with a glass of wine, candles and music. Self preservation is so important but taken me 5 years to ‘get around to’. As mums we tend to put everyone and everything else first. We need to remember that in order for our little families to be their best, we need to be rested and looked after too. So take those offers of babysitting, childcare etc, have that long bath and give your other half the monitor. Take a long walk leaving your phone at home and breeeeeaaaaattthhhhhhhe!

@_babysienna

The hardest part of my motherhood journey was when I hit the baby blues, I’d say about day 7. Before then I was on cloud 9, feeling the most amazing feeling bringing our beautiful baby into the world. That buzz even made the after pains manageable! My partner was about to go back to work, I was struggling with breastfeeding and the sleep deprivation was at full force. My saviour was proper food, support from my partner, talking things through with friends, skin to skin contact with baby and nap time cuddles. Looking down at my sleeping beauty made all of that mama stress fade away. Sienna is now 8 months old, a happy, sociable little monkey and is thriving! Time goes so quickly, if you blink you’ll miss it, so step back, take a deep breath and let others help wherever they can. It doesn’t matter if your house isn’t tidy, if you’ve not managed to put your make up on or if you haven’t even brushed your hair! So long as you are there your baby has everything.

@liamalexander_oliverwilde

I think the hardest aspect of motherhood for me has been losing my identity outside of my children. Some of it is self-induced and some is how people perceive me differently. I tend to get so caught up in “momming” that I forget to get back to friends or miss a girl’s night out. And aome people exclude me because they assume I’m too busy with my kids. So that has been rough. My older son has additional needs and I can get hyper focused on what he needs that self-care fades out of my mind.

Prior to kids I did a lot of backpacking, played competitive sports, and read (non-picture) books ALL time. I have started regaining my passion for my old hobbies by introducing them to my children. We spend hours in nature, hiking trails, ans exploring National Parks. After a hard day, I have found that just going outside for a walk can unwind all of us and reset our evening!

@_erinhaf

I think there’s so many difficulties and struggles in motherhood. The thing I find most difficult is mum guilt. I’m always thinking I should’ve done things different / spend more time with him (even though I’m with him all day everyday until he goes to bed🙈) but I don’t think that will ever go away. You always want the best for you children so it’s only natural to doubt yourself.

To unwind I love having a nice hot bath for some me time, and sometimes a cheeky gin or 5😂🙈

@mummyhood_adventures

@_mama_and_munchkin
Motherhood is amazing but it comes with its challenges too. I absolutely love being a stay at home mum with my little girl but the first few months were not as I imagined. I put a smile on my face every day and got out and about by often at home felt so low and eventually after lots of tears I was diagnosed with post natal depression. This was my biggest challenge so far but I have overcome it. I felt so ashamed and didn’t want to admit failure but after therapy, medication and support I turned it around and realised it’s normal and so many people go through it. I realised I’m not a failure and if anything it has made me stronger for over coming it and now feeling on top of everything and loving my life I lead. Motherhood and fatherhood comes with lots of different challenges for everyone but with the right support we can get through it. Part of getting through the post natal depression was making sure I had time for me, for self care. Now I make sure that in the evening once Isla is settled I get half hour or so for me. I love a relaxing bath or just watching my favourite show on TV with a drink and snack. I’ve also just started to read before bed to help me unwind and switch off as well as journalling to empty my thoughts to help with better sleep.

@mummylovesjh

There are many parts of motherhood that can be quite a challenge, the lack of sleep is definitely one. But the main one for me has got to be the MUM GUILT! It really is something that comes with becoming a mother. I don’t think a day goes by when i don’t feel guilty for something. “Do i do enough with them? Are they happy? Am i a good mum? Did i shout too much today? Are they getting enough nutritious food? My toddler is a really fussy eater so it’s a struggle to get him to eat his meals. I always make a homemade meal every night but he will always refuse to eat it which then makes me worry about whether he’s eating enough and getting enough vitamins. He does like fruit so that makes me feel a little better that he’s eating something healthy. But because he’s so fussy, sometimes I’ll end up giving him a less healthier meal option which results in mum guilt! I feel bad for giving him the meal that isn’t the most nutritious even though that’s what he prefers, then i start to think did i do something wrong that made him become so fussy with his meals, it’s just a vicious cycle. I also constantly feel guilty about wether i do enough with my kids. I’ll always wonder whether i played with them enough today or if we go out enough, what if they aren’t getting enough vitamin D from being out in the sun? There is always something making me feel guilty when it comes to motherhood, whether it’s big or small it can really get me down.

Mum guilt is definitely something i don’t think will ever go away as you’ll always want what’s best for your babies and always worry if what you’re doing is enough.

We’re all trying our best and that’s all that we can do. The fact that we have the mum guilt shows that we’re good mums. You’re doing great!!

Parenting can be very stressful, and we all need time for ourselves every now and again. Although I’ll admit i very rarely find the time for myself as at the end of every day i’m so tired and worn out i just want to sleep as soon as i can.
So what i do every night is a little something that does help me feel a little better and cheer me up on them difficulty stressful days of dealing with toddler tantrums and a non stop crying baby. I’ll go up to bed with a hot drink sometimes a regular cup of tea or something herbal like a chamomile tea. And i’ll put one of my favourite shows on tv, which is normally Friends. It’s sort of like a feel good tv show for me and always puts me in a better mood, most of the time I’ll have a little snack with me as well as i find with breastfeeding i get hungry regularly, especially during the night. I just find it a bit of a stress reliever to just relax in bed and watch a favourite tv show, before my 8 month old wakes for another feed.

@the_scrunchy_momma_diaries

We were all sick over Christmas break and I though the end was in site but Jönah became poorly early on New Years and we had to call for an ambulance. Nothing screams a challenge like looking after sick children when you’re sick yourself. I’ve got a chest infection and it’s exacerbated my asthma and Jönah has bronchiolitis so we’ve both been coughing up our lungs, I was sat beside his hospital cot stroking his sweaty little head whilst I was short of breath with a high fever on zero sleep for 72 hours.

He had coughed so much he’d been sick over each babygrow I changed him into, he was also sick over me more than once and I had nothing spare to wear so at one point they was just me, holding Jönah whilst he was hooked to machines in my mom leggings and nursing bra. As a mom, you keep going. I don’t feel that motherhood is a job, you can’t clock in and clock out, it’s all you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

My tip for chilling out after a long day is to put on a face mask when the kids are in bed and I reflect on my day by journaling.

Stuff, Cliches and Chardonnay

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0024/4609/8490/products/kenley-kids-car-seat-travel-tray-organizer_600x600.jpg?v=1543522635

@kenleykids

One of the most difficult challenges I’ve faced in my ‘Mom-Hood’ has been dealing with all the ‘stuff’ or ‘gear’ that comes along with those sweet bundles of joy. Talk about emotional shopping! There’s no easier way to spend money than coming across a product that promises to make your child happier or healthier or one that swears it will make this most impossible job called parenting a little easier. With each subsequent child, we realize which products were necessary and which things merely contributed to the ever-growing clutter in our once Pinterest/Instagram-worthy family room.

Remember when you used to be able to leave the house within a minute grabbing nothing more than your purse? Well, yep, I do and as my kids are getting older I am starting to see the light at the end of the ‘it takes an hour to plan to leave this house’ routine. The challenge that comes with older, school-aged kids is that you graduate from being the curator of all things toddler/preschool and you become the planner and driver to all activities. Am I right? If this is the stage you’re in, then you know the struggle and it’s REAL! It’s a balancing act and a mad-rush mission on the daily and sometimes it makes me dream of the early years when we didn’t do so much extra curricular sh$t. So last year, because we aren’t busy enough, my husband and I started a company. We name it Kenley Kids (Kenley is a hybrid our our two kids’ names – Kennedy and Wesley). We designed a Kids’ Travel Tray and to make a long story short, it’s changed our lives and the lives of so many customers. This. This. The Kenley Kids Travel Tray has been the best life hack product that allows our kids to eat and do homework on the way or in between their weeknight activities. And I could gush forever about how it’s been a dream for longer road trips.

@mumandmummyplus3

I’ve had 3 very different experiences with getting pregnant. My first daughter was conceived when I was at uni studying to be a nurse, fast forward 9 years and I finally figured out I was gay so getting pregnant again was a little more complex. My middle son was conceived via iui with donor sperm and we were incredibly lucky that it worked first time. My youngest was a bit more complex, we had iui twice but were unsuccessful so decided to have one last attempt of conceiving with ivf. All of this took a toll on us and despite being so happy ivf worked I was also very anxious that something would go wrong. At our 20 week scan we found out that our baby had something wrong, we were later told that he had a minor heart condition that could possibly require surgery. Once Bertie was born the wait started for his first cardiac appointment, but before that even happened Bertie was rushed into intensive care with severe jaundice. All of this stress left me feeling constantly anxious that something bad would happen to Bertie. I knew it wasn’t normal when I was out to dinner and I nearly rugby tackled a waitress for clearing a plate near him. My wife convinced me I needed to see the GP and I was diagnosed with postnatal depression and anxiety. At my worst I stopped showering, eating and leaving the house apart from taking my older son to school, I would just sit at home and cry or worry. It was a really hard slog to get to where I am now but there were a few things that helped.

1) Reaching out for help: initially I was ashamed that I couldn’t cope, I’m a mental health nurse and this wasn’t my first baby, but now I know that no one is immune from mental health difficulties.

2) talking is really important: I’m not great at sharing my thoughts (ridiculous for someone who writes a blog now) but letting people know how I was feeling was so important.

3) Connect with people: I felt so disconnected from everything and everyone that I needed to hold on to someone to feel something.

My biggest piece of advice is to remember that you are not alone, you are loved and you’re needed, never forget that.

@it’s.a.mamas.life

The hardest part of motherhood is for me is, accepting myself that I’m a good mum.
My hubby always tells me I’m doing a good job. But for some reason it’s not enough. Some days I feel great and say to myself “yes I’m doing a fab job.” But then I have those odd days which are difficult with the boys. It gets me really down and I think am I doing something wrong. I have a really supportive hubby who is always figuring out ways to entertain the boys, and is so hands on so I get some time to myself.

For me to unwind would be to sit in front of the telly with a cuppa under a blanket, while all 3 boys sleep.

@meandconnorg
The hardest part of motherhood for me is doing it on my own. Trying to juggle work, keeping us both fed, watered, clothed and clean, keeping the house clean and tidy and everything else that needs done all while keeping my anxiety in check. Don’t get me wrong my folks help out loads, picking up Connor from after school club and my nan is amazing for watching him on a Monday, much of the school holidays and whenever my folks aren’t available and they all feed him so I suppose that’s one less thing to worry about after a long day at work. But even with that support network there is still so much I feel alone with and I don’t have anyone to share my concerns or annoyances with, especially if we’ve ended up running late for school (that just knocks our whole day off). Weekdays are generally 10+ hour days because of when we need to leave for the school run and when I get home from work, so most of the time we end up flopping on the couch (with Connor sprawled over the top of me or pinned to my side) and we watch some mind numbing TV while I get one word answers about how school was that day. Although I think the best way I have found for us both to unwind after a long day is to curl up and have our own little book club, where we spend quiet time together with two of the same book just reading and the only conversation is when a phrase needs to be explained (usually because he has read a word slightly wrong or maybe even missed one out completely). Not only does reading get you away from the TV but it triggers the imagination and helps to relax the mind and provides a much better night’s sleep.

@rhi_myself_and_i

My son Alfie was born in March 2015 and since then I have suffered with a range of Postnatal Depression (PND) and Maternal Separation Anxiety (MSA) as well as a range of other problems regarding mental health (Pre pregnancy)

One of the hardest things that I have ever had to deal with is the “Daddy Phase” As someone who has had MSA from the very beginning I can say that it wasn’t until December 24th 2017 that I let anyone take Alfie out of the same room as me, Not even his own Dad, it was awful come to think about it, I would have the most awful feeling and feel as though I would have a panic attack if someone were even to suggest taking him out for a bit. But just a bit before then, Alfie stated saying “Daddy turn tonight” Suggesting that his dad take him to bed (we each take turns putting him to bed) and he would scream and cry if it was my turn, It broke my heart and I would cry myself to sleep thinking that I had somehow damaged him and caused him to hate me, even resent me to an extreme extent. He would wander around some days asking “where daddy” and when I would say that he was in work his bottom lip would stick out and I’d do my best to reassure him that daddy would be home soon, but at 2 he didn’t really understand. I became a google maniac then, googling why he was like it, what I could do, was it me? I don’t know, but now down the line, I can see that its probably to do with the fact that Dale (Daddy) doesn’t get in until 5’o’clock from work and Alfie goes up at 7:30 the latest, so he sees him a mere few hours through the week and then on the weekends. He gets to see my mug everyday ;p.

I will say though that even though when he falls or bumps himself, he calls for “Daddy” when he’s home and he follows him around like a little lost Lamb, I know he loves me because he always comes back to me and that proves he’s comfortable with me to shun me knowing that I’ll always be there for him. And he does ask me (now and again) to join in with his fun, – These days though I have learned to relax a bit more and go off and do something that needs to be done. I was naïve really about motherhood, (I shunned the idea thinking I may not have children) so I thought “I’ll be a fun Mam” well that kind of flew back in my face because Alfie is different to other children. It’s hard to explain and this is a bit of a taboo subject; the subject of autism. Ever since Alfie was a baby I had gut instincts that he may have ASD like his daddy (Asperger’s Syndrome) Dale has it very mild, but his dad also had a lot of traits and so does two nephew on side too that is in Dales dads bloodline. So it seems to run in the males. “don’t quote me on that though” and I know – call it mothers instinct – that Alfie shows traits, I have raised my concerns with anyone who will listen to me.

He is now in nursery for 2.5hrs Mon-Fri and back in October 2018 we had our first ever parents evening with his teacher who just so happens to be the Senco at the school and she is in agreeance with Dale and I. She was telling us things that we already know. She involved the school’s child psychiatrist (CP) but have gotten nowhere apart from “We will review him in the summer” but thankfully Alfie’s teacher is a fantastic lady and she would correct the CP for example I thought at one point they were going to argue over the fact that his teacher with expect children of three and four to sit (albeit they fidget) but Alfie will not co-operate, there is so many other things I could say but it would be too long. But the not knowing bit is an absolute killer, I can see it that’s the problem. But as soon as Alfie goes to bed, I try not to think about it. I will clean up [the kitchen is my favourite to clean] then have a shower or a bath with some Essential oils [2 drops of Lavender and 4 drops of Lime is my go to at the moment] and put on some YouTube and watch it whilst I crochet. I find crocheting keeps my hands and my mind busy, without that I think I’d have grey hair.

@eatsleepparentrepeat

The hardest part for me is as a single mum to an only child, trying to feel like I’m NOT a single Mum. To feel like I’m not completely exhausted all the time so he gets quality mummy time. Trying to be the homeowner, cleaner, cook, breadwinner, teacher, disciplinarian, full time worker and then to be my little man’s playmate when I’ve not seen him all day. I give him all my energy because I love him more than life itself but I always feel guilty that it’s not enough.Of course he loves me and I know I do my best but I always wish I could give him more. When I sit on the sofa with a cuppa and he says “play mummy” I feel guilt.
When I’m putting the washing on and he says “watch with me Mummy” I feel guilt.
When I’m cooking dinner and he comes in saying “hug Mummy” I feel guilt.

Yet he looks at me with those beautiful eyes filled with so much love for me despite that I constantly feel like I don’t do enough for him.

ANYWAY, TO UNWIND AT THE END OF THE DAY I LOVE A NICE CUP OF TEA AND TO WATCH SOME MIND NUMBING TV SO THAT MY BRAIN CAN SWITCH OFF FROM WORK!

@malwelavanda

I am a mom of 4 kids, diffrent age group, I am also an IT professional in a fast paced highly stressful enviroment. The hardest part about motherhood is juggling those two roles. Being there for my teenager and attending my 9 daughter’s extra mural activities and still having enough energy for the twins. I am there for my kids, I do my best but i also acknowledge that I am not a perfect mom.

The biggest challenge is the battle of the mind, to not want things to be perfect, to be the perfect mom, but to just do my best and be okay with doing my best. My home and the environment around is my escape, I live in a quite gated environment and going home is something I look forward to, take a long aromatherapy bath and sitting on my couch is how I unwind. Or start a day with jumping on the trampoline with the twinshe biggest challenge is the battle of the mind, to not want things to be perfect, to be the perfect mom, but to just do my best and be okay with doing my best. My home and the environment around is my escape, I live in a quite gated environment and going home is something I look forward to, take a long aromatherapy bath and sitting on my couch is how I unwind. Or start a day with jumping on the trampoline with the twins.

@deryatopcusuter

When I gave birth, I had sepsis and I lost so much blood. I was in the hospital for 5 days. It was more or less a year before I become pregnant that my mum was diagnosed with dementia, so she couldn’t travel to London. My husband stayed in the hospital with me. Rosie was a tiny baby and was born in 37 weeks. I didn’t know what to do. The Midwifes were amazingly helpful but I was still missing my mum. When we got back home the reality of not having my mum with me hit me one more time very hard. My husband was back to work. I had to wake and feed Rosie every 2 hours. I kept texting my sister in law and asking questions when I struggled or don’t know what to do.
When Rosie was 4 weeks old she had blood in her stool then diagnosed with multiple food allergies. One more time I didn’t know what to do. On top of that, I was studying my MSc. I was struggling to juggle with my study commitment, having a new born and being a house wife. I remember all my friends when they gave birth their mum stayed with them first 4 to 8 weeks to help them cooking, cleaning, babysitting so on. Why I didn’t have my mum with me, why all these things were happening to me kept circling in my head. My husband parents were trying to support us from time to time but it wasn’t the same.

One day I thought rather than feeling sorry and pity myself I have to put myself together and do something about it. I realised otherwise I wouldn’t enjoy being a mum and I could drive myself to depression. I found some local activities such as playgroup for Rosie. She was only 4 weeks 2 days old when we joined. In activity groups I met with some local nannies and mothers. Some of them were new mother like myself. I started asking about their experiences and motherhood which helped me a lot. I started going out for long walks with Rosie and having breathing exercises. I deferred my exam in January to July.
I regularly started attending various baby activities in our area which was almost like having a mum support group. Talking with all other mothers made me realise there is no right or wrong way in parenting. I also had to accept my current situation and trust my instinct. Motherhood is a journey and none of the days are the same. In a positive note this struggling start to help me to find my way in motherhood and how to unwind myself if I have stressful day or situation.
Basically, when I have a stressful day I go out for a walk, do my breathing exercise or have a chat with mummies from Rosie’s activity group. For a luxury if hubby is home I sometimes put a face mask, put one of my favourite movie on my iPad and sit in the bath with warm water until Rosie start crying for me. I love being her mummy and my motherhood journey. All I can recommend other mummy is there is not such a thing called being perfect mother. Whatever bothers you don’t hold it inside and don’t stay in darkness.

@twinspoblog

http://www.twinspo.co.uk

Being a Mum can be tough. It has it’s ups and of course its downs, but it brings more joy to me than anything else in this entire world. I could write extensive lists of how all of my babies make me happy but when I was asked what the hardest part of being a parent was, I was slightly stumped. I keep going over and over in my head exactly what I struggle with the most.
I have three children, Charlie (3 years old) and Penelope & Lola (8 months) so there has been times throughout each stage of their lives which may be more difficult than others. The sleepless nights as newborns, potty training and of course the times when all of my babies are poorly together – as you can imagine it can be hard with only one set of arms but three amount of cuddles to give out.
The more I have thought about it, the more in depth I have got. The hardest bit about being a Mum, isn’t even anything to do with Mumsy stuff. It’s not the copious amount of washing, trying to juggle a full time job around my kids or financial pressures of maternity leave. It’s about my partner, Adam.
Since having the twins we’ve never really had the time to spend time together, on our own. I never really liked to leave the girls, we knew they could be harder work and together we had it town to a T. They were in such a brilliant routine that worked for us, we were so worried of breaking it, but it come at a price. I found the hard day with my eldest, that although we may have our way of doing something, not everyone liked that and didn’t always stick to the way we did things. It made it harder and sometimes changed Charlie’s bedtime, his meal times or even the way he was fed – I didn’t like it at all and it sometimes had a knock on effect.
There was no date nights, no movie nights, no days out shopping together, it was tough. When I look back, I always think we should have spent more time together as we are the base of the family, we need to stay strong and close for the children but it couldn’t always be done by reinstating our bond together.
In our eyes the kids always come first and we would never do anything that would effect them or interrupt what they was used to. It did slightly cause strain on our relationship as we never even had the chance to ask each other simple questions or have a conversation. ‘How was your day today?’ ‘What have you been up too?’ as we were both so exhausted and were taking it in turns sleeping with the babies sleeping patterns and as soon as we did have time to sit down, we would sit on the sofa and fall asleep. Before we had the kids, just as everyone else we had so much time for each other, looking back we have so many brilliant memories and I do miss not being able to have spontaneous nights out together, day trips on our own and time to sit down with a drink and have a catch up about the day, but that is what comes with Motherhood.
I wouldn’t change anything for the world, I love being a mum and of course Adam, he’s the most caring and loving Father to our children and he thrives on being a Dad, he’s brilliant. But I must admit that on both of our parts the hardest part of parenthood is not spending time together as a couple as we should.

@motheringandme

The initial jump from one to two children & the constant state of panic that washed over me in the early few months after having my 2nd son was the ultimate struggle of adjusting.On reflection, my hardest part of Motherhood has been having to split myself in half! Half of me to care for/keep up with the needs/ & engage in activities for my eldest son, while equally doing the same + trying to control my toddler from hurting himself minute by minute while he explores lol!
I have no clue how I’m going to operate looking after three if I am ever given that extra blessing.

However, with my wild children & the struggles that can come with motherhood, I have realised it’s so important to make sure I have some ME time to relax, unwind & declutter my mind!

I find exercise, no matter how strenuous or long definately helps me to switch off & feel productive in doing something for me…
My other favourites for down time include, (trying) to get stuck into a good book, having a nice bubble bath with a glass of wine (or 3 lol) or having a chin wag on the phone is always great for unwinding!

Self care is so important, it keeps us sane & helps regenerate us to tackle the hard times😊

@mumofsassygirls

For me (a mum of a 2 year old and an 11 month old) I have found the hardest part of motherhood being the loneliness. Not the lack of sleep, or the mess or the crying but the feeling of being all alone. There are days I find myself counting down the hours until my partner gets home from work because I need the company, the adult conversation.
I can be out with the girls and have an amazing time but still feel lonely!
I’ve learnt that meeting mum friends through baby groups and playgroups has really helped. We have created a what’s app group for support and just general conversation.
The only advice I can give really is get out there, make mum friends and socialise. Motherhood is an amazing lonely journey but us mum’s are all in it together so let’s
support and empower!!
After a long day when the kids are finally in bed I like to have a bath, cup of tea and read a book.. well I might get through 2 pages before I fall asleep but it really helps me to unwind and clear my head.
For me, self care is so important. Taking the time out let’s me recharge and be ready for whatever the day brings.

@caseyandbear

I think the hardest part for me was all the input from family (too many cooks spoil the broth) all the “we did this and you were fine” and the “you can’t do that that’s wrong” I felt like I was getting lost in everything and nothing I was doing was right ,
Also the pressure to be the perfect mum , whilst being a cook and cleaner and not letting things slip whilst also finding time to make sure you look after yourself too was overwhelming ,
I also struggled alot with doing it on my own as barely got any help from my now ex husband I felt like a married single mother most of the time :/ though it did mean when we eventually split that I didn’t have to readjust
now that Casey is in a routine with bed time I usually unwind with a cup of tea watching ncis /csi or cutting patterns out /sewing.

@simplekindofmomm

http://www.simplekindofmom.com/

Motherhood

Finding time for yourself is one of the most difficult aspects of motherhood. I thought this a few months after having my first child. Then after I had my second child, I realized it’s darn-near impossible to consistently get time to yourself.

A Little About My Situation

I have to work at an office part-time, every day from 8-2 while my kids go to preschool. My baby actually goes to my mother’s two days and school the other three days a week. I did not want to send my kids to daycare but I still have to work. So doing 8-2 feels like a compromise I am immensely grateful to have.

Although, there is one little drawback. I get absolutely no time to myself. I race immediately from dropping the kids off into work. Then leave work in a race to pick them up. We have our afternoons together, which I love. But I get absolutely no time at my own home without my children around. Actually, I get no time OUTSIDE my own home without my kids.

My husband travels frequently so I’m a semi-single mother some weeknights which can get pretty crazy. This means I literally can’t run up to the store to get milk without buckling two car seats and bravely bringing two kids under the age of 4 in the store with me.

The Challenge

Motherhood’s greatest challenge for me is getting alone time. One day I wanted to go for a run in my neighborhood and switch it up from the workout videos I had been doing. I used to run before I had kids and wanted to start running again. Then I quickly realized, “ummmm I can’t walk out my front door to run and leave the kids!” It sounds obvious, but at the time it was a rude awakening for me.

Any little moment I want to have to myself to run to the store, or go workout, has to be well thought-out. It’s amazing the amount of forethought that has to go into me getting a 30-minute pedicure ALONE! I mean, am I supposed to throw away money on a babysitter just to get my toenails painted? I have to save babysitter money for better activities like going to dinner. Which means I have to prioritize what I need when I get any time to myself. Do I need a pedicure or a margarita more? Usually, it’s the latter.

The Double Standard

Sadly, this is not how it is for dads. It starts immediately at the birth of your first baby. Who does the baby literally need to survive? Who has the food supply? Exactly. The mother! To clarify, I’m not saying dads don’t help or they do whatever they want. I am, however saying that they don’t have to map out a plan to go watch a football game with buddies quite like a mother has to.

Motherhood is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. But it also has had the greatest challenges. My children are my world and I would literally die for them. I’m so thankful every day for their health and the time I get to spend with them. But sometimes I wish it was a little easier to acquire some time to myself.

At The End Of The Day

I know that working out has its advantages over stress. But with young kids, I currently don’t have the luxury to easily work out. I could make it happen but it wouldn’t be an easy schedule to cram into my day. So instead, to destress at the end of a long day, after my children are asleep, I like to listen to music or write on my blog with a glass of red wine. And if my husband is home we will listen to music and enjoy adult-only conversation. It’s either that or a nice quiet bubble bath!


Thankyou for taking the time to read this post. If you have had any experiences of motherhood that you found a challenge please feel free to share with us. Please also check out the above links to the girls profiles and websites. These are amazing women.

4 thoughts on “Motherhood Is Hard

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LYDIA ON LIFE

As a first-time mum

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